everyone in my friend group got in ED and i got rejected. how do i stop feeling like a complete failure
this is going to be long and kind of a rant, sorry
got rejected from my ED school yesterday. I've wanted to go there since 8th grade. I visited 3 times, I did the summer program there, my whole bedroom wall is their stuff. my counselor said I had a real shot. I really thought I had a real shot.
and the worst part is literally all 5 of my close friends got in early to their schools. like everyone. they were all posting in the group chat and on instagram last night and I had to act happy for them and then go cry in the bathroom. today at lunch they were all talking about roommates and dorms and I just sat there.
I keep replaying every part of my app in my head. was it my essay? was it the B in chem junior year? did my rec letter say something bad? I'll never know and it's driving me crazy.
the thing is I don't even know what to do with all the stuff on my wall. I can't look at it but taking it down feels like admitting it's over. my little sister asked if she could have the sweatshirt and I almost lost it
and now I have like 9 RD applications due in 2 weeks and I can't even open the common app without feeling sick. what's the point if my top choice didn't want me. my parents keep saying "everything happens for a reason" which honestly makes it worse.
i know it's not the end of the world. people tell me that constantly. but it kind of feels like it is right now
TL;DR: rejected from my dream school ED, all my friends got in early, I can't focus on my RD apps and I feel like a failure
- ?
What you are feeling makes sense. You put years of hope into one school and the answer was no, on the same night everyone around you got good news. That is a real loss, and it is okay to be sad about it for a few days.
Some things that are true, even if they do not feel true yet:
- ED admit decisions at selective schools turn down many applicants who are fully qualified. A rejection is not a verdict on whether you are good enough. Schools are building a class with many constraints you cannot see.
- You will probably never know exactly why, and replaying it will not tell you. That is one of the hardest parts.
- Your friends' good news does not take anything away from you, but it is fine to mute the group chat for a week.For the next two weeks:
1. Take one or two days completely off. No Common App.
2. Then make a simple list: each school, its deadline, what is left. It is usually less than it feels like.
3. Start with the application that needs the least work. Momentum helps.
4. Reuse your main essay. Most RD supplements can borrow from what you already wrote.
5. Talk to your counselor. They can help you prioritize and may know about schools with later deadlines.If the sadness does not lift, or you are not sleeping or eating, tell a parent, your counselor, or another adult you trust. That is worth doing.
One practical thing: you can ask your parents to stop saying "everything happens for a reason." Tell them what would actually help, even if that is just quiet company.